Saturday, October 4, 2008

my cancerous colleague

There is a cancer person that I work with. He or she has many irksome quirks. He or she, for example, cannot stand florescent light. No one really likes florescent light but this one cannot abide it and will get up in the midst of a meeting, a meeting that she or he was late for (he or she is always late for meetings), and open windows and turn off lights. This is especially disruptive because of this person’s broken bone that inhibits his/her movements. (I am being purposefully vague to protect this pariah’s anonymity.) So cancer person get’s out of its seat and starts to slowly and loudly push furniture out of its way so as to get to the windows. Then it noisily pushes the furniture back. Then it shuffles over to the light switches and darkens the room. That's when a type of person as annoying as a cancer person says something like, “What are you doing cancer person?” If this person is not used to cancer person’s irksome quirks by now then she or he is not paying attention. But that is not the case; the person is being a provocateur, which is entirely not helpful. I have a policy which is, "do not provoke crazy people during meetings."

The broken bone mentioned earlier was the result of cancer person, who has been spacey of late and who lacks peripheral vision and who is generally unobservant, riding its bike and getting hit by a car or truck. Cancer person has no memory of the event but is sure it was not its fault. Two days after the accident the drugged cancer person was driving a rental car, without a wearing a seatbelt because it would no doubt hurt the broken bone, and crashed into a young driver. That was also not its fault. But it really was I bet.

And so my battle continues...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wear Yellow

No. Yellow only looks good on black people.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Why me?

If you are in my shoes or have been (and if not you will be at some point - sorry), you have asked yourself, "Why me? Why do I have to be around someone with cancer?" Even the survivors are annoying; maybe even more so. I cannot even drink water out of the tap near a cancer person without a cautionary tale about what may or may not be but probably is in the water that may or may not but probably will give me cancer. This blog will chronicle my dealings with cancer people. I know what you are thinking - it's about time.
I'll write more soon but right now I have to prevent another annoying occurrence - a parking ticket.